One of our most powerful allies in educating young people is
the student’s parents and Guardians. As teachers we must make a concerted
effort to include parents and Guardians in the educational process, we can do
this by establishing and maintaining open lines of communication and extending
to all parents and Guardians a warm welcome that includes an understanding that
their input is important and desirable to ensure a proper education for their student.
When communicating with our student’s families it is important to remember that
families are more diverse than ever before. Divorce, step and foster families,
as well as non-traditional marriages and unique family arrangements, have
challenged traditional definitions of what a family is. Regardless of biology,
it is important that we cultivate productive relationships between our students
families and ourselves. When I began teaching my wife and I had just married so
the kids were still a few years away. I believed that my rapport and communication
with parents was good, but it wasn’t until we started a family of our own that
I began to truly empathize with parents. I am not suggesting that one has to be
a parent to understand just how precious a child is to their family, because I
know many fantastic, companionate teachers who do not have children of their
own. But for me, having kids was a real eye opener. Instead of looking out into
my class and seeing young men and women, I see sons and daughters, and I know
that their parents care for them as much as I care for my own children, and I
treat my students the way that I would want my own children to be treated.
Sometimes
we perceive difficult parents as a nuisance, but the reality is, in almost all cases they are advocating for
their children’s best interests, not what is best for teachers, or even other
students, and I think the sooner we realize this, the smoother your parent-
teacher communication will be. It may be the case that the parent has had
difficult interactions with previous teachers and administrators, or feels as
if the “system” is against them. As a result they may take a defensive posture,
which some could interpret as rude or difficult. I have learned in these
situations most people want an empathetic ear, to effectively communicate with
parents it is imperative that we listen to their concerns. Not just passively
“hear” what they have to say, but really listen to them, give parents your
undivided attention, use body language that conveys engagement, lean in to the
parent, make eye contact, and offer a sincere and genuine smile. If your
contact is by phone, put a smile in your voice. If the parent becomes angry and
the conversation turns into an argument, it may be that the parent feels as
though they are not being listened to or they simply need to vent their
frustration. Empathize with the parent, you could try saying something to the
effect of “if my son or daughter were in
that situation I would be angry too.” Defensiveness and an agitated tone on
your part will only increase tension, do your best to maintain equilibrium and
control. I know that it is difficult and no one expects you to be the
proverbial “whipping boy/girl” but your calm and dignified demeanor more often
than not will be to your benefit, as the parent will come to realize that you
are a professional educator.
I have learned that the best way to
handle a potentially difficult parent is to be proactive. A few years ago, I
had a student I will call James. James was a remarkable young man who had a
significant physical disability. His mother had a reputation for being
difficult with teachers and administrators so when my colleagues found out that
James was going to be in my class I heard all kinds of terrible things in regards
to his mother. That she is a helicopter parent (she hovers) that she will send
constant meddling emails wanting progress reports and justifications for grades,
and they pointed out that any slight dissatisfaction on her part would result
in a parent conference or a principal’s meetings. I like to give people the
benefit of the doubt, and wanting to get the year off on the right foot, I
contacted James’s mother first. I sent her an email introducing myself, and
explained that I will work hard to provide her son with a high quality
education, that I would accommodate his disability and that if she had any
concerns to feel free to contact me at her earliest convenience. The
interesting thing was she never did. That proactive email resulted in an
amicable relationship between James’ mother and me and resulted in less stress
for everyone.
Unfortunately for many parents the only time they
have significant parent teacher contact is due to disciplinary issues. For most
parents a phone call from their child’s school is usually bad news. I remember
calling home once to praise a student who did remarkably well on a class
project, going beyond my expectations, and I wanted their parents to know about
it. As soon as I identified myself as their student’s teacher the parent
defensively snapped, “what did he do this time?” I know that making phone calls
is time consuming, but I think about the saying “Do for one what you wish you
could do for everyone,” one call is better than no calls, and who knows what
kind of positive impact that call will have on a students.
Parent
teacher conferences are an excellent time to establish and build effective relationships
with your student’s parents. In a recent publication form the Harvard Family
Research Project called Parent-Teacher Conference Tip Sheet: For Principals,
Teachers and Parents
[i]
Teachers should practice the “BE HEARD” acronym in their interactions with
parents: best intensions assumed, emphasis on learning, home-school
collaboration, examples and evidence, active listening, respect for all, and
dedication to follow up.
Best intentions assumed means that we
believe that all parents want what is best for their student to include high educational
achievement and learning the skills that will prepare them for success in life.
Parent teacher conferences should always focus on learning, if the student is
not learning due primarily to behavior issues than it is entirely appropriate
to address behavior. However, teachers should not use the conference as an
opportunity to scold the parent and guardian regarding their student’s
disruptions. Instead, working together, try to develop a learning strategy that
will result in student achievement. If the student becomes successful in
school, chances are good that the behavior issues will work themselves out. Home
School Collaboration means that we must approach student achievement as a joint
effort, when learning is not taking place, we need to work with parents and
guardians to find out why, and then design a plan of action to correct the
situation. Parents and Guardians are our most powerful ally, we must properly
utilize them as a resource to promote student achievement. When participating in
parent teacher conference it’s a good idea to bring samples of student work,
particularly examples that indicate areas of weakness. Doing this will provide
parents and guardians concrete illustrations of a student’s deficit. For
example, instead of just saying that a student is weak in writing, show an example
of how a student misuses grammar rules. By pinpointing areas of weakness,
teachers, in consultation with the parent, can devise an action plan to correct
the problem. Be sure to listen actively to the parent’s concerns. Try to
eliminate all distractions, if the conference is to take place in your room,
make sure there are no students present. Make sure your cell phone is silent,
and that you give the parents and guardians your undivided attention. If you
are meeting with the student’s parents or multiple guardians, talk to all equally.
Be sure to take notes, make eye contact, and use positive body language, such
as offering a warm smile. Be respectful to parents at all times, do not lose
your cool, be professional. Speak about the student in a respectful way too,
they may be difficult and make your life unpleasant at times, but they are
still human beings worthy of dignity. Lastly, arrange for follow up. Find out
the best way to communicate with the parents and guardians and offer to check
back in a few weeks with a student progress report.
As the Clark County School District
continues to become more diverse, teachers must make a concerted effort to
build bridges between the schools and the community. According to a recent
story in the Las Vegas Sun, the CCSD is experiencing a “teacher diversity gap.”
The paper reported that 70 percent of our students are nonwhite, while 76
percent of our licensed educators are white.
[ii] While
the district is making an effort to attract and keep more teachers of color,
the fact remains that most CCSD teachers are Caucasian, who in turn are
teaching students who come from different cultural backgrounds. Two of the
fasting growing minority/majority populations are Hispanic and Asians. As
teachers it is important that we take into consideration the cultural
backgrounds of our student’s and parents when communicating with them. Despite
linguistic and cultural differences, body language remains consistent across
all cultures, assume a non-threatening and open posture, offer a sincere smile,
and make eye contact. These gestures will go a long way in building a productive relationship between you and
your student’s family.
If you are having a disciplinary
issue with a student, it is important for you to document all communication
with that student’s parents and or guardian. The documentation will be helpful
to your administration as they determine the appropriate response should the
situation escalate to that point. It is difficult for an administrator to
discipline a student when there is no documented progressive discipline to
include teacher-student contact as well as contact with the student’s parents
and/or guardians. It is important to remember that when communicating with
parents that we are professionals and that no matter how unpleasant the
circumstances may be, we should be doing what is in the best interest of our
students, regardless of our personal feelings about that student.
One way I keep track of parent
communication is through a communication log. As communications technology
continues to develop, parents have a variety of ways in which they can
communicate with us, and it is important to give parents options. Some parents
will want to talk with you directly on the phone, while others are more
comfortable with email and text messages. Whatever the mode, it is important to
document the conversation to include the date and time and the nature of the
communication. Your log will help you keep track of issues of concern and will
provide an opportunity to give parents feedback. For example, I had a student
who I noticed didn’t have the necessary notebook for my class, after a week I
asked the student why they did not have it, and I received a vague response
about not having time to go to the store. The student’s grades were beginning
to slip and I knew from experience there was more to this story, so I called
home. Making that call I learned that the student was living with his grandma,
who was on a fixed income, she related to me that she was having difficulty
putting the money together to purchase all of the necessary school supplies
(this was in 2009 during the Great Recession). I told her not to worry that I
had a few extra notebooks lying around and that her grandson was welcome to
have one, I told her I would call back in a few weeks to give her an update on
his progress. Two weeks later grandma was pleased to hear that her grandson had
pulled his grade up and seemed more engaged in his studies.
Las Vegas is a 24-hour town and
many of our student’s families work unconventional hours. Afternoon phone calls
may not be practical, but that should not be mistaken for apathy regarding
their student’s school life. I created a class website to better facilitate
communication between students, parents and myself. My website
http://teacherweb.com/NV/NorthwestCareerandTechnicalAcademy/Hinton/apt2.aspx
includes information about projects, units of study, and is full of resources
and updates to include scholarship info. Parents like the fact that my class is
transparent and the website makes them feel connected to their student’s school
life. Parents can contact me through my website as I have included an email
link. In addition, I also invite all of my parents to become members of my
Edmodo online learning community. Edmodo http://www.edmodo.com is safe and
private educational platform that in many ways behaves like popular social networking
sites like Facebook. Unlike Facebook, however, there are a number of safeguards
to protect student’s privacy. In addition, Edmodo does not permit students to
communicate directly with each other, all communication, including
communication between teachers and students takes place on the Edmodo “wall”
(more about Edmodo in Chapter 3).
I have created classroom brochures
to help foster better communication between parents and myself. My brochure
contains contact information such as email, phone number and website address. I
also include information about the class such as how to communicate with me. I
share my teaching philosophy and information about myself in addition to ways
in which parents can help their students be successful. I like to give parents
my brochure at open house, student parent conferences, and any other time I
make contact with parents, I usually have a few in my briefcase for
just-in-case situations. I think using the brochure is a nice professional
touch. To see a sample of my pamphlet go to
http://www.screencast.com/t/IGRH5SXcXsaZ.
When I notice that a student is
making improvements, putting fourth effort, or generally exceeding expectations
I like to give them a “student good job card.” To see a sample go here
http://www.screencast.com/t/oVECty1BZK4 They are quick and easy to do and they
encourage students to share with their family and loved ones their good work at
school. I usually like to surreptitiously place the notes on their desk as I am
walking around the room, it is fun to see their expression as they realize they
have received praise.
Whenever you communicate with
parents in written language, it is important to remember to proofread your
work. Spelling errors, grammar mistakes, and inappropriate use of vocabulary,
can undermine your credibility, as professional educators it is important that
we present ourselves as the educated professionals we are. It will be difficult to admonish your students
for their failure to edit their own work, if we don’t.
[i]
Parent–Teacher Conference Tip Sheets for Principals, Teachers, and Parents.
Publication. Harvard Family Research Project, Oct. 2010. Web. Mar. 2013.
