Effective teaching begins with
building relationships with your students. The simple truth is that your students
are more likely to learn if they feel as though you care about them and have a
genuine interest in them as individuals. I know many high school teachers are
thinking that this is going to be very hard to do, especially if you have 160
plus students, how in the world are you supposed to build personal
relationships with so many students in such a limited amount of time? I heard a
quote, and I am not sure who said it, but it goes “do for one what you wish you
could do for everyone.” I think about this aphorism quite a bit while teaching,
because the truth is we do have limited time, energy, and resources. And while
we can’t build profound friendships with all of our students, we can let them
know we care about them by simply getting to know them.
To illustrate the power of
building relationships, in the 1950s, a U.S. history teacher and boxing coach
at Basic High School, mentored a young man from Searchlight, a small dusty
mining town at the southern tip of the state about forty miles from Henderson.
Searchlight did not have a senior high school at the time so the student
boarded with relatives in Henderson to attend
school. The two developed an indelible bond as the teacher mentored his
young protégé, both as a coach and a friend. The two would later go on to make
Nevada history. In 1970, the teacher-turned-politician, became Nevada’s 23rd
governor, his running mate and former student became his Lieutenant Governor.
Mike O’Callaghan would continue to guide his apprentice who served on the
Nevada Gaming Commission, in the U.S. House of Representatives and the U.S.
Senate, becoming the Senate Majority Leader in 2006. The student from Searchlight Nevada is none other
than the Honorable Harry Reid.
The first step of getting to
know your students is learning their names. When I worked as a sales man one of
the first things they taught me was to learn my customer’s name and use it
often. People like to hear their name used in conversation, it lets them know
that you are interested in them as individuals and that they are not just
another sale, or in our case, a student. I try to have my students’ names
memorized within the first two weeks of school. Some teachers have developed
systems for remembering their names including having students wear names badges.
I simply use my seating chart, it isn’t
as creative as some other methods, but it works for me and that is what is
important. As our schools continue to become more diverse, it is important that
we learn how to say your students name’s correctly. Nothing says “I don’t value
you as an individual,” louder than mispronouncing a name. If you have access to
someone of similar linguistic background, have them show you the correct pronunciation
so that you can practice, your students will appreciate the extra effort.
Teachers use a variety of
techniques to get to know their students, the most common is the interest
inventory. The interest inventory is usually comprised of a series of questions
about the student’s likes and dislikes, hobbies, learning styles and the sort.
One of the problems with this approach is the fact that most teachers give
students the questionnaire at about the same time, at the beginning of the
school year. A few years ago I gave my class an interest inventory and I had a
student role her eyes and groan “not again,” thinking I was the only teacher in
my school clever enough to give the inventory, I was taken aback, “what do you
mean?” I asked her with surprise, “this is the third one I have had to fill out
today.” Instead of using questionnaires I have resorted to the old fashioned
method of simply talking to my students one-on-one. I have noticed that a lot
of student like to decorate the front of their three ring binders with pictures
of family and friends, athletes, sports teams, their favorite band or singer,
and various other images and paraphernalia. I have been able to strike up great
conversations with students simply by noticing what they put on their
notebooks, it lets them know that I have taken an interest in them as
individuals and helps me remember their name all at the same time. In addition,
good teachers take an active role in the school’s community as a way to learn
more about their students.
Kids love to see their
teachers at school sporting events, plays and musical performances, and dances
as it shows that you interested in their lives, that they are not just another young
person who comes to your class on a daily basis. One time I had a student who
was in a local garage band and was excited that his group had landed a gig at a
local all-ages show, the student asked me to come to his concert. I knew that
if I went I would be sorely out of place, but I could tell it meant a lot to
him. I decided to go and I will never
forget the look on his face when he saw me at his show. He beamed with pride as
he introduced me to his friends as his teacher from school, the other kids
didn’t know what to make of the whole thing, but I had a great time as I got to
see a different side of my student. For the remainder of that student’s high
school career he would come by my classroom just to say hi, I know how much he
appreciated my attending his show and that was his way of saying thank you.
Being a
teacher is a lot like being an actor because it is important that we are aware
of not only what we say but the way that we say it. For example, it is important
to give students our undivided attention. Students want us to pay attention to
them, and despite the fact that teachers are great multitaskers, we must make a
concerted effort to give students our undivided attention when they need it.
One good way to do this is by setting up class procedures. For example, the transition
periods are always the most volatile, as students come into your room they need
to get situated in terms of taking their seats and getting their class
materials ready for the day’s lesson as well as socialize with friends, this
time can get noisy and chaotic. As the teacher you are busy taking the
attendance, setting up the class’s lesson, giving announcements, etc. The
begging of class is not the best time for students to talk with you regarding absence
work and the like, as you will be unable to give the student your undivided attention.
I suggest that you set up a designated time during your class period in which students can talk with
you one-on-one, this way you will not be as distracted, which will enable you
to focus on the student at hand. I usually reserve the last ten minutes or so
for some time of “out” activity or formative assessment, this is the perfect
time for individual conversations as the class is busy working on the task at
hand.
When I talk with students I
make direct eye contact with them and listen to what they saying intently. I
nod in response as well as make other non-verbal responses to let them know I
am engaged. One of the most powerful nonverbal forms of communication is the
smile. Research has shown, what we all know intuitively, that smiling has
positive effects on other people. In a recent study, subjects were shown an
image of a smiling face for just four milliseconds, the image was so quick that
the human mind could not consciously perceive it. Despite not “seeing” the
image, the subjects did experience a small positive emotional response. I make
a conscious effort to offer all of my students a sincere and warm smile, most
of the time I get a smile in return. Smiles let our students know that we are
happy to see them, that we are compassionate and that we care.
Having a
sense of humor can go a long way in establishing positive relationships with
your students. It is an excellent way lighten the atmosphere in your class and
defuse potentially negative situations. I like to use a lot of self-deprecating
humor as it shows students that I don’t take myself too seriously, that I like
to have fun and that I am approachable. However it is not O.K. to have a laugh
at a student’s expense. It is easy for senior high teachers to forget just how
vulnerable and self-conscious many students can be. While physically students
may look like young adults, the reality is that they are emotionally still
children and can be sensitive to public ridicule even if done without malice.
It is for this reason I do not use sarcasm with my students, it has been my
experience that many students find it condescending and mean spirited. I have
seen many teachers use sarcasm as a way to put students down, sometimes without
the student even realizing it, in my opinion it is negative and should be
avoided.
Under no circumstances should a
teacher yell at a student or a class out of anger. If you reach the point of
yelling you have lost all control of your class and yourself. In my opinion,
yelling is disrespectful and unproductive and should only be used as a last
resort or in cases in which a student possess a danger to the class or themselves.
If you find yourself yelling at your students you should probably look at your
classroom management and reevaluate your approach. My first assignment as a
teacher was at a behavioral school for students who had been expelled from their
regular zoned schools, needless to say behavior issues were not in short supply.
It was a tough assignment, especially as a first year teacher, but I did learn
how to manage student behavior quickly. Unfortunately not all teachers did, the
science teacher next door to me could be heard everyday yelling “SIT DOWN!!!!!
SHUT UP!!!!!” all class long, needless to say this teacher did not have control
of her class, and resorted to yelling at them as a way to unsuccessfully manage
student behavior.
